for some time
it never crossed my mind
that it could’ve been one so close to me
so my initial response was
amazement
shock
confusion
dismay
‘cause I never thought it could’ve been this way
never saw it happening like this

 

with me all the time
i thought my best interests were in her mind
but never could I have been more wrong
for so many years
for time so long
I trusted her
blindly
only to one day see
that she indeed
was not she

 

but them

I wanted to cry
(and I did)
cause it had all been a lie
the saddest part being
not the story told
but the story unknown
to her
that she was them
not she all this time
influencing me

 

hurt
but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her
the truth
because I didn’t know what this would mean for us
what would happen to her
where she would go
would we or could we be friends
how she would feel
so I just let it go
on

 

until I realized
I’d taken her place
now she was me
and because of me
we were dying

 

unintentionally
it was done
never had she wanted to mislead me
but I was choosing to hold the key
willingly
choosing not to set us free
amazed confused
in shock and dismay
holding the power
yet deprived of power

 

all because I
had never seen it this way
had never thought that
it could have been me
misleading me
killing me
yet holding the key
to set me and her
who is indeed me
free

 

but somehow
during this state of dismay
I came to see it didn’t have to be the way it was—
what if I had not one day seen
that she indeed
was not truly she
but them influencing me—
I saw what could’ve been
and then that same fear that once held me down

Uplifted me
Peace & Blessings,
Devon