Peace and many Blessings Sistahs,
I pray that all is well with each and every one of you. May the Most High bless you and guide you to you.
I am writing this blog because I am a first time mother, ( in this existence) and I have some questions.
I have sought a more natural/traditional lifestyle for me and my daughter. We are both vegan and we tend to follow a more spiritual lifestyle. My daughter is almost fourteen months and is very expressive and observant. I love her very much. My mother feels that I don't do a very good job at disciplining her, but my thing is, I want her to explore. I do not want to be the person responsible for suppressing her inner voice. I believe that if I create a solid foundation for her, her wise spirit will follow. We chose each other for a reason and though I am to nuture and protect her I am not to make her into what I want her to be. I just work at being the best me that I can be to show her how to be her best no matter what.
Also, my family complains that she is getting too big to nurse. She nurses in the morning and in the evening when I pick her up. During the day I take her to home care and leave her with rice or almond milk. I enjoy nursing her, but she does have eleven teeth and at times she can be a bit aggressive.
Anyway, my questions are what are some ways to set boundaries for my daughter without suppress her desire to explore and express herself and what are some ways to ween her from breastfeeding?
Motherhood
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Posted July 14th, 2008 By Life |
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you are mama
sounds like you are doing beautifully. we Mamas are raising children with a whole other energy than we were raised with. Please, remember, YOU are Mama now. You decide when to wean and how to discipline. Listen to the Goddess within.
Blessings
Motherhood
SistahsoldierSistahvet85
Beloved
You are giving your future Queen one of the most priceless gifts a mother could give to their child, you. I had my children while I was on active duty in the military and I breastfed them both. I had a balanced diet and avoided pork/pork-by products and other unhealthy foods.
While I was not vegan, at the time, I ate very little red meat. My daughters nursed unitl they decided that they did not want to nurse from the breast and then they graduated to the cup. However, since they did not like animal milk (we are latose intol) I continued to pump my breast. My oldest daughter stopped nursing a 3 years old and her sister stopped at 24 months. My children even had breast milk with their cereal! Yes, for a while there I think that they thought I was moo moo brown cow.(smile)
You are giving them the best and your being a vegan is a +
Sisterly,
Breast milk is the best!
A rose by any other name is still a rose and Military Sexual Trauma(MST) is still RAPE!
Sis Life Knows Best : )
Greeting Sis Life,
I totally agree with Sis Nzinga. Go with what you feel is right for your daughter. As mothers we rely partial on intuition but much of our experience is learned as our children grow and develop. The society we live in unfortunately does not encourage us to function as individuals so we tend to parent in the same fashion. No two children are alike and we have to keep this in mind as we continue to care for and nurture them. Remember what works for other people might not work for you. I raise my children the way I would have liked to be raised, with very minimal spirit oppressing physical discipline and with much guidance. As far as boundaries, you said it best “I believe that if I create a solid foundation for her, her wise spirit will follow.” Children are little people and I have learned that if we give them the opportunity they can teach us a thing or two. In addition I can’t understand why some individuals are so uncomfortable with women nursing in public. It is natural occurrence in which you are both feeding and bonding with your child. When your daughter is ready to stop nursing she will definitely let you know. Especially with her getting rice and almond milk at home daycare it is only a matter of time before she weens. I commend you on your wisemind and your intuitive motherly instinct. Peace and infinite blessings.
Seek Truth~Facilitate Change
~Nyarah~
*
*
Disciplining a child does
Disciplining a child does not mean that you don't give them the space to develop their own inner voice. According to my family I am way to easy going when it comes to raising my boys but my sons are disciplined just not in the manner that me and my siblings were disciplined (spanking, never answer back etc) From a very young age I gave them boundries so they overstood that it is not ok to break things that they are allowed to look but if they want to touch they should ask. They are at liberty to speak their mind but always in a respectful manner (no foul language, no shouting and definately not belittling the other person) I encourage my babies to speak back caus this way I can tell what is going on in their minds when they are angry or feel like the world is treating them unfair. Anger management is something that I feel is missing in the community I was raised in and I will make sure my sons are as comfortable with their anger as they are with happiness.
As for breastfeeding, my statement is as long as mom and child feel comfortable it is acceptable. There are a few "rules" never let your young one search for milk in public teach her that this is private. My bff nursed her daughter till she was around 3 y.o. the fact that she would literally wrestle her mom for nursing was a sign for me that the child needed to be weened caus she was using nursing as a way to manipulate and demand her mothers attention. I also think it is wise to ween a child at least 6 months before going to kindergarten. As for the process of weening, most children over 18 months don't nurse for milk but for the warmth and love, make sure you keep the moments sacred so instead of nursing cuddle your babygirl and sing with her or read with her or just hold her in silence. If she asks to nurse just give her a cup of almondmilk or water and tell her she is a big girl now, keep cuddling she will soon stop asking to nurse.
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job so keep doing what ya doin :-D
Love, light, blessings,
Chayil
http://chayil-sacred-woman.blogspot.com/
Indigo
Peace Sistah,
Thank you for your motherly insight. In response to your question, what is she doing. Well, she likes to sing and explore and often times when people are aggressive to her she returns the same energy. She is a wonderful child and she is not too extreme in anything that she does. She is very mature and most people call that "fast", but she is one year she can't be fast. What about those terrible twos?
Healthy,Happy,Baby!
Life, Your daughter sounds fine to me and probably everyone Else here.I didn't hear anything in your response that sounds like she needs discipline.Discipline for a toddler isn't extreme anyway,so I don't understand what your family is talking about,not putting them down or anything.People have a tendency to give advice,we all do it,even when it's not wanted or asked for and they especially like to give it when you are a new or first time mother.So ,some you take in and some you take with a grain of salt.Just let it go in one ear and out the other,cause at the end of the day your mother's intuition kicks in and you know what's best for your child.As far as being fast that's an old saying that you really don't hear anymore but when the elders say it ,it's two ways that they usually use it.Fast as in she's highly intelligent ,doing things way too early ,because she's moving out of the way or fast as she is always in a man's face.Hugging men,jumping in men's lap etc.If she's doing the first ,then congratulations,if she's doing the latter,don't worry she will grow out of that too.Little girls are naturally drawn to the male species.That's a natural occurrence,but like you said ,she isn't doing any of those,I just wanted you to know what they usually mean when they say she's fast so you won't take it to heart.Singing and exploring are wonderful toddlers do that.Heck,buy her a microphone.LOL.The aggressive issue isn't a issue at all.Babies,children,toddlers mimic EVERYTHING!They mimic everything around them in some form that's how they learn.Sweetie ,you are doing a WONDERFUL job,just remember to let things concerning mothering and your daughter roll off your back like water,cause being a mother you haven't heard the last of the opinions coming your way.Waite until the doctors,teachers,etc start in with the what you could be doing advice.The terrible two's are when they seem to be at their worst.It's like their minds,hands and feet are going a mile a minute.They want everything,they climb,move,taste everything.They are in the exploring mode.They don't stop.You say no,they say why,you say stop it's go faster in their minds,but it's all wonderful.I loved every minute of it and each child has their own unique way of being terrible ,and don't get two or three of them together,lol.It can last into the three's too.My baby turned three on the 29th of June and she's still going.In my purse,in the sink ,just everywhere.Watch the toilet,cause they love throwing things in them,& playing in them gotta keep a close eye for that one.You should of never asked me.LOL,cause I adore children and could go on&on about them all day.Oh by the way,whenever you do start weaning drinking the sage tea will dry up your milk and you shouldn't become engorged,but if you do try pumping some out and use cabbage leaves.I know cabbage leaves may sound bizarre to you,trust me it works.Peace, Indigo
What do YOU think Sis?
Greetings Sis. Life,
To quote your post "My mother feels that I don't do a very good job at disciplining her..." Again, what do YOU think? Is your daughter polite, respectful? Does she follow directions pretty well. If so, I wouldn't worry. With age, she will get even better. Also, quoting your post again, "my family complains that she is getting too big to nurse." What do YOU think? I nursed my daughter until two days after her second birthday and we would have gone longer except that I was having surgery and I didn't want my pain medication to seep into my mother's milk, so I weaned her.
Use and trust your judgement and intuition in rearing your daughter. If there's an activity that you and your daughter enjoy and it's not hurting anyone, I say do it as long as you BOTH like. Don't go by the whims of others; it's a sure way to encounter regret for not listening to yourself.
Just my opinion and experience. Peace and Love to you on your mothering journey.
Ase!
Sis. Nzinga
~I affirm that I am a divine wombman who lives a life of courage, adventure and bliss!
http://nzinga360.blogspot.com/
Sis...
...congratulations on choosing to nurture your daughter in the way You feel is best. Your intuition is the biggest gift you can share with your little one. When to wean those final feedings is a personal decision for all mothers. It might help to follow your own lead and listen to your child's actions...for example, if it's all about bonding at this point, you might replace the moment with another bonding activity and find that the child has less interested in feeding and more interested spending quality time with mommy. I'd caution you give up just one feeding over a 2-3 day period so that you don't become engorged ;). And take care of yourself during this transition...it is the beginning of many! Bless you.
It's Wonderful......
.........that you and the baby are Vegan and you have placed a spiritual light in her life early.The rice and almond milk are excellent choices.It is not unheard of for a woman to breast feed until the child is 2.I've heard in some Afrikan and Pygmies tribes children are breast fed until they are four.Anyway you are doing a wonderful job,so don't worry about that.For weaning You could try giving her ,her milk from a cup/sippy cup in place of the breast.Try it in baby steps,like maybe 10 min on the breast and she gets the rest from her special cup ,explain to her that she's a big girl now and wouldn't she like to drink from a cup like mommy.Make it a special event,take her to the store and ask her to help you pick out her very ,own special big girl cup.This is a big milestone in the both of your life's ,so enjoy it,make it fun..Trust me she'll understand no more mommy milk when you are explaining it to her.Once you buy the cup,you have to stop completely.No matter how much she cries or begs,be strong ,don't give in cause you don't wanna send her mixed messages.We all hate to hear our little ones cry,but at times it's for the best.For you ,you can drink sage tea to help dry up your milk.I drank it like water cause I had so much of it.It didn't completely dry it entirely up I still had some for months after,but I had no leakage .As for discipline,I don't quit know what Else you could do besides tell her,no ,stop,put that down,etc.Have a safe enclosed play area where she is free to roam.What is she doing?The terrible two's are almost here so of course she's gonna be into EVERYTHING!Just remember,breakables up high,safety cap in the socket,well you know make sure the house is childproofed and keep a close eye.An occasional slap on the hand when needed doesn't hurt or behind.Peace, Indigo