This really is the hardest job in the world. I'm no one's mother... But just babysitting shoves me in to reality. You have to be ready. Focused.... and have a good head on your shoulders. I wonder how people have five and six or sometimes more children. I could never understand what it takes until I get there (that's if I do). It takes discipline and understanding, patience and creativity, nurturing and affection (they aren't one and the same, trust) and most of all the ability to let go.
I say the latter as most of all because I have found that to be the hardest thing for a mother to do. I mean, come on, she's raised you to become the person you are and all of a sudden she has just let you fly free? Yes. That's what life is about and sometimes its harded for her seed to just let go. So it goes both ways.
Letting go allows us to apply what we've learned in our life. It allows us to prove to our parents (or parent) that what they have taught us has really touched us... so much so that we can use it in our everyday life. But never rely on one lesson as the source for which we handle everyday matters. Use our mother's good traits as a means of growth. Be honest with yourself... your mother isn't perfect and there are certain traits that she may have passed on that you may not necessarily love. Don't resent her for this but use her life lessons as a means of growth for yourself.
Peace and love,
Ari
Let it go
Greetings My Sister,
To be able to receive a spirit and nurture it's growth in the depths of your womb and feel every emotion , pain and joyous sensation is a miraculous event. I can very well understand your theory of "how do they do it".Especially the larger families.Well it takes alot of discipline and understanding, patience and creativity, nurturing and affection.You were right about that.All of those and more.I myself am a mother of eight.Yes eight! I have been married for sixteen years and every last one of the screaming,kicking,laughing,singing,dancing,fussing,arguing ,can i have,i need this,i want that are naturally his.Ours.I have to say that because there is a stigma in our society today that views every black woman with a large family has umpteenth different fathers.That's sad,but true.My children are the most wonderful ,aggravating,ma calling,nerve recking,inspiring creatures on the earth to me and I wouldn't trade them for the world.I would be totally lost without them.Any of them,but honey at the end of the day when each one reaches eighteen "Get Out"! Yes I said "Get Out"Goodbye.We strive to raise our children to be independent,spiritually ,respectful people and not cutting the apron strings I feel only hampers that Independence.My husband and I won't be here forever,so we can't hold their hands once they become adults.Don't get me wrong,we will always welcome our children back home(for a visit) if times get too tough we'll lend a helping hand,but we will not support them and condone incompetence,laziness or foolishness.I mean unless you were framed or straight -up policed profiled do not dial this number for bail.We raised them to respect and abide by the law.They have to make their own way in life.By the 18th birthday they better come to us with a plan.College,University or College.We simply have raised them education first.As long as they are in school ,yes we foot the bills but it grade based.So in saying all of this,it's not hard as you think to let go,cause your not truly letting go they are just moving out of our house and into life and the two that are in college now,call me several times a day and drops by for dinner everynite.Then they leave.When your time comes,it'll go by so fast and so wonderfully but you never truly let go! Peace, Indigo