ymib.com - Daily Inspiration

I can truly relate sis

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through daycare woes. I have been experiencing similar woes which I will elaborate on later in this response. It is a lot easier to keep your mouth shut and go with the flow. However as caring, nurturing mothers we want the very best for our children especially when it comes to the care they are given when unfortunately we have to be away from them. When my first born was little I was very strict, and I mean very strict about the way he ate. My family thought that I was torturing him because we were vegan. (I now allow some fish and cheese). It was very frustrating when he went home for the summer and I have to ask him regularly what he ate. I constantly requested that they be respectful and abide by my wishes. Growing up in the Caribbean in a non-vegetarian household was very difficult. My dad is old school and felt if you don’t want to eat the food they provided you were being disrespectful and defiant.

The bottom line is that your caregiver may not practice the same livity as you but you have to stand firm and lovingly let her know that you take your child’s health very seriously. It is very difficult to try to make people understand being vegan, vegetarian or the fact that you choose healthy living without them coming to the conclusion that you think that you better than them. Sis I don’t feel like you’re being a nuisance or being extra, just a concerned mother that loves her child very much. The problem exists because the other parents aren’t asking questions and are not as involved as you are. If the other parents were as involved your caregiver would feel that your interests are the norm and not take any offense. You say your daughter is very happy and it is a home daycare but on the other hand I am concerned about the statement “there are other things I don’t like, that I have noticed as time has passed but I suppose all is flawed right?” Sister go with your intuition and ask the Creator for guidance and if needed an alternative. Sometimes we settle because can’t see past what we currently have and think that we are being selfish if we ask for something better or more conducive to our personal livitys. If you feel that this is not the place for your daughter send out that energy to the universe, continue to be gracious and grateful to her current care giver and visualize the place you would like for her,and pound the pavement, internet or telephone until you find it. As Descendants of Afrikans we have the power, we just need to have faith and tap into it.

I too am going through day care woes. I would love home school my son and have put out the energy and currently working on a plan to make it possible. At this time we can’t afford to only have one income coming in to the house hold so he has to attend daycare. The daycare that he is currently at is okay but he needs more academically and not to mention the static we sometimes get because of our livity. No I don’t want him to drink tap water, or no fluoride in his toothpaste please. I decide to transfer him to another daycare when he made 3 in March and let me tell you it has not been easy. I couldn’t believe some of what I discovered or observed. The average daycare is in my opinion way below acceptable in terms of cleanliness, safety and the overall development of an African child. It was very overwhelming and frustrating but I didn’t give up. A few days ago I found a daycare that I find acceptable (next to home school) and I can prepare his meals and have control of what he eats while he is there. Sister may your days be filled with happiness and joy and you have my support in you endeavors. Peace and many blessings.

Seek Truth~Facilitate Change
~Nyarah~

Queen Sister, It's amazing

Queen Sister,
It's amazing to find this post. I too am a first time mother and my daughter, Truth, is attending a home care for little pay. I provide all of the food for my daughter, including her fruit and juice and water. This issue I just recently ran into was I found out that the woman was using the microwave to warm up my daughter's food. I had to exhale and talk it through with one of my close friends before I addressed the woman because I was completely pissed, to say the least. However, when I took it to her she seemed willing to make this very important adjustment. Now, I prepare raw foods for my daughter and send her things that can simply sit in the oven for a couple of minutes to warm, nothing too complicated. I had to explain we do not do sugar and candy, or dairy. I can say that this is the challenge when we choose to trust our children with people who have a different way of being. They don't really mean harm, it's just that they are ignorant to the truth of their own eating habits. Send energy to the sister, especially if you will continue to allow her to nurture your child in your absence.
Much Respect,
LIFE

Just offering encouragement

My home is very particular on certain things we do not eat or drink and we made that clear to my son so he stands up for himself. I send him to school with his own lunch which he fortunately enjoys. He was always in a home daycare and the providers have always been very understanding of his dietary needs. For the most part all I've needed to provide them was soy or rice milk.

I do not think it is too much to ask someone who you are PAYING to provide a service to you to adhere to your child's dietary needs. Especially if you expressed to them those needs and they agreed to get paid anyway. I understand what it is like to have that cheaper childcare and not want to move your child. I was in that same situation but God provided me with a CHEAPER and more loveing alternative when I stood my ground and said "no, this place is not for my child". But in your situation I would guess that the provider needs to better understand where you and your husband stand on this. I would suggest you and your husband talk to the childcare provider, face to face, and reiterate the initial agreement.

Hopefully all will work out as God wants it too. I believe it will.

Bless.

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When I think back

To all the crap I had to eat in school/daycare, it would have been so nice to have a mommy like you! My parents were very careful about what we ate at home, but at day care and school, it was whatever was on the menu. I think some folks just assume if it's being provided for kids it must be healthy. Stick to your script on this one, especially in this day and age with the hormones in food that have our little girls bustin out way too early! You're doing the right thing.
And the most important thing to remember is that you're building a foundation for your daughter to know how to make healthy choices for herself the rest of her life. I remember getting made fun of because there were no chips, soda, sugary cereals or white bread in my house. There was no junk to be had. I thought it was so lame when I was trying to be like all my friends. But when I grew up and was on my own, eating healthy was not a struggle for me like it was for my childhood friends. By the time I was older it was like it was in my DNA or something. And that's what you're doing for your child. You're giving her the tools to heal herself, so that even if she should stray for a minute, she'll understand (or physically feel) the affects of a poor vs. good diet, and come right back. Good for you!

sharing is caring...

and i am so thankful to each of you for sharing your experiences and wisdom. You each gave me a bullet to load into MAMA'S GUN ( and i mean that in the most non violent sense possible lol) ... you know what i mean. The solidarity you all offer gave/ gives me strength and the confidence to continue to beat down our own paths through the dense mass marketed and consumed confusion that has zombified the masses to point that, those who choose to tune out and live a natural, healthy lifestyle get the SEOD...side eye of death!!

Thank you ladies
the love and support on this website, this sacred place is such a blessing

Peace, Achieng

I remember these days...

Even though my kids' daycare was owned by a friend whose children were vegetarian...the teachers and assistants had issues with the fact that we would send food for the girls...my oldest was always very outspoken as well and she had other children saying they were vegetarian too and refusing to eat meat! That was part of the issue...*smile, she was only three or four then*

But STAND FIRM in what you know to be right for your baby...explain to the provider that the care is superb and you are so happy that the baby is happy but that nutrition is important to you as well...explain that it is not that anything she has isn't good enough it just is not what you want your child to eat...make sure and speak on her strengths as well and the reasons you do not want to move your child, so that it is not viewed as an attack

stand firm , you will be rewarded for it

http://yeyeyeyeo.blogspot.com

Mothering is an act of revolution!

Once upon a time...

Mawiyah Kai EL-Jamah Bomani

I had a very similar problem with a small preschool program. I have always prepared my childrens food, when it wasn't breast milk it was homemade veggies pureed and fruits, and live juices. For some meat eating family members this was absurd as well as for the general community. At this particular program the women had issues with what i sent. It was as if I was saying their food was not good enough or that my child was better than the others. And for them if she was better then why did she need this program with these meateating kids. It got that rediculous, and I always made it easy on the staff there. If she (my daughter) was going to have a warm meal that day i'd provide it fifteen minuts before the designated lunch time. Juices were always in containers she could open. She was provided with bags to dispose of her trash (even before they hit the school can). So I was always intending to make everybody's life easy. It just so happens, the simple act of her trying to make my (very vocal daughter with the photographic memory) child feel out of place pushed me to the farthest reaches of niceness. My husband had long since decided he wasn't going to play nice and had gone to the principal and grieved the whole situation as an attack on our rights, culture and religion. He demanded that the woman be called in for disciplinary action. I tried to talk with her (before Baba) and she said she didn't have time to wait for the vegetarian to finish lunch and pick up behind herself. She said my daughter was making more work for her. And before she could finish I had told her "don't to let the african clothes fool you. I know you need this job and if I write a letter in regards to your actions with me right now, I'll see to it that you and this whole program make the news. Then who will be the fall guy when parents view this program as prejudice." Then I left. I took my daughter home for two days and wrote a very "intelligent" letter (considering I was feeling very much like kicking ***)displaying my concerns to the director at the site and also to the regional director. When we were called in for a meeting I was told that the woman was on her way to a new locatin and that she would have to take classes in multicultural education. The woman in question was black but not african black she would remind you of her difference. My husband wanted our daughter out of the program by that week's end because he felt it would do him good knowing that she was somewhere where the slate was cleaner than this place. He couldn't perform his job to the best of his ability worrying about backlash. The director came by our house about two weeks after we found a place that (bought vegan food from Whole Foods) left me incharge of creating a menu for my daughter. The director spoke about her guilt in having "her place" be looked upon as prejudice to its own people and I reassured her that my only problem was with Mrs. So and So.

As a mother with certain values and beliefs I will defend mine. If i am so "gung ho" about taking it to the mat against white folks then black folks gon get their spanking too-when they need it. We talked for about an hour and she left the door of return open but I declined. I told her to give the next sister who looks like you but carries a different set of beliefs the same opportunity you are offering me and that will make us even.

All I'm saying Sis is standing up for our kids is never wrong and should never be second gussed. You have beliefs that are always overshadowed by popular widespread opinions. Just watch television or listen to the music and you know for yourself they rarely make it cool to reach back and grab your cultural roots. Some people like this "woman" I i encountered) assumed every black person would kill for a porkchop or else they were crazy. Or if they were not crazy they were trying to be white cause white people the only ones who eat grass (vegetarian meals) and get full. As long as you play nice, (with your situation) you have that to fall back on but if you've played nice and the situation is making you doubt you then it's time to have a sit-down discussion (with all parties involved). Try to make it work but accept if it won't and find a suitable place that will give you what you want. You paying for it anyway no matter how expensive or inexpensive. I'm guessing Achi's money don't grow on trees and her values don't either.
Ase

Maat and i, we'd love to have her spend some time with us!

GODMAMA HERE!!
talk it over with your husband.

you must be doin something right, without adversity to work through our victories would be less sweet.

peace be upon u and yours

hold it down no matter what!

GODMAMA HERE!!
hey achi,
we got cut off on the phone and then i saw your blog here.
people unfortunately get scared, jealous, offended even, when you try to do something different with yours,especially family members.
some take it as a personal slight against themselves(as if it where even about them)
that you choose, and rightfully so in this day and age, to keep a close/vigilant eye on yourself or your child.
most people, unfortunately, because of todays societal demands don't have the time and instead of recognising that it is the structure set up for us that is at fault, and applauding parents who have evolved to understanding the neccessary measures it takes to keep our selves and our offspring safe, they make it seem as though your the crazy one who thinks your better that some one else, and then actually may try and succeed in making you feel guilty and con you into watering down your standards, BUT DON'T!

YOUR NOT CRAZY GIRL, YOUR SMART!!!

and no matter how much you want her (zakia) to get along with aunt may may or whom ever, you and you husband are the ones responsible for her well being.and she will appreciate you for it in the long run.
even if she grows up and chooses for herself to eat mac donalds every night,lord forbid,
at least you know that while she was in your care you did the very best you could for her health and longevity.

my husband and i made a rule along with our daughter maat's strict diet, she really shouldn't go places without us untill she could talk. i have now since made exceptions but that is my choice to make, but anyway, my mom had a fit and my granny asked me

"WHAT MAKE'S YOU THINK YOUR CHILD IS BETTER THAT ANY ONE ELSE'S"

WHOA!

can u believe that?!

first of all, not the kind of question you ask a mother, and second of all, i was'nt comparing my child to any one elses.

i've been told i act "funny" with my child

and i had problems with it at first but as you go along you realize that those who really love your daughter and want to be in her life are the ones who you should have a conversation with and take the time to explain how seriously you are taking everything your child is exposed to,and that by saying this your not ensinuating that they did a terrible job, or that they are neglectful, so that the family ties arn't strained, you can have the relief of being able to let your child go enjoy other people and the love they have to share(and get a break), knowing that people are RESPECTING your choices even if its not what they subscribe to for themselves.

not to be funny but to hell with every one else.plus you gotta think,anyone who turns what you have to say into a debate or a shouting match is questionable after that point anyway.

call me, star

STAND FIRM IN YOUR LIVITY!!!!

LOVE LIFE LAVA!!!
Greetings Sis, Everything that Sis La_Negrita-Linda says is absolutely true. And I love the fact that she refers to us moms as SOLDIERS, Indeed that is what we are. I myself have not had to send my kids to that jungle called daycare, but I have had the same experience with private caretakers such as yours. I feed my children vegan food as well and it can be very difficult when you are dealing with people who do not live the same way you do. Especialy myself being a Rasta I had to deal with very oldschool westindian people who for some reason feel that they can question Rasta way of life. And worse if its a family memeber. But My friend the key is to be firm and unwavering in your position. You are supposed to have your opinion on life no matter what anyone thinks. You are supposed to be respected. And you should never allow anyone to disrespect your LIVITY. So stand firm be serious, dont show any signs of weakness, never laugh, or smile about it. It Is what it is and they must respect this. You smile once and it will be oh she had a brownie today hee hee ha ha. Dont move her just yet, especially if it is not practical for you, but if it gets out of control then you have to. You must protect your childrens way of life, Grow them up in the right way and they will not depart sistren. I feel very strongly about this because I am young and to often do people feel they have the right to pass judgement on my way of life, or make boldly disrespectful comments. Especially my family members. So I stop smiling about my beliefs, I became very strict and defensive about them. I never changed, when they said oh she'll be back to normal in two weeks. There still waitin for me to come outside in a pair of jeans. Or put some chicken gravy on my red beans and rice with calaloo, just because everybody eatin the stew chicken . LOL . you know how it goes. !
So Stand Firm!! You will feel very good about your choices after aLL IS said and done.
Jah Blessings!!!!
LAVA!!!!!