Independent Woman: Do You Know What That Mean?

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T Do You Know What That Mean?

First off I must say that this article poses more questions than it does advice or tips. It is meant to be an open discussion on Independent Women and what it means to be independent.

So, I couldn't help but to feel an urge to write an article after hearing this song on the radio that is “sung” by modern hop artist Webbie featuring Lil Boosie and Lil Phat(WOW...they must have not been able to book Little Duckling...does anyone else notice the fact that our men, and sometimes our women are literally belittling themselves by putting "Lil" in front of their stage names? When are we going to grow up?) (please note that I only know their names after googling independent, song...LOL. They don't get the reward of the hip in front the hop, because in my opinion there is nothing hip about this type of music and it is definitely not true hip-hop..I digress.) So as he spelled out the word independent so rhythmically, and as I listened to and read the lyrics, I began to wonder, “how do women define independence these days?” In this song, these men obviously define independence as a woman who has everything already, always looks good, never smell (like onion rings), has her own money, and I quote “Cuz She Got Her Own Money...She Don't Need No Help Mane”, and then they basically say later down the line that she only need a man for sex. So, are we women supposed to be duped into believing that our better halves are no longer needed for us to be whole women except for a rendezvous in the sack? Why do these songs regarding independent women always involve and focus on material wealth and vanity. Can a woman not be defined as independent solely based on your individualistic way of thinking outside of how much money she has or if she has toe nails that matches her range rover!

What does being Independent or an Independent woman mean to you? Does it entail you gaining financial wealth for self? Making your own decisions regardless of your man? And for the single Sisters out there especially, what does it mean to you to be Independent, and do you think that any of your “independent” views would change if you were not single? Can you be an independent woman while being married? Sisters, married and single...How do you define Independence as a woman?

I have met many sisters in relationships(mainly married) who say that they split up chores and even their money down the line 50/50, do you feel that this causes separation within a relationship. How do you and your mate handle your finances? Do you keep your to yourself and he does what he will with his while splitting all the bills 50/50? Then there are others who have certain responsibilities that the woman of the house is in charge of and certain things that the man is in charge of, a bit more tribal so to speak; and usually it is domestically traditional, meaning the woman takes care of the home and the man works. My personal set up is the latter. As odd as it may sound, I have wanted to be a homemaker since High-school. I remember telling my mother this at an early age. I shared this goal of mine with a young man from Tanzania that that this was my goal in life...to be a stay at home mother, and he literally stopped in his tracks and looked at me in dis-belief, as if women of our type were extinct, and he had just come in contact with a rare specimen. So I say all of that to ask yet another question to the stay at home mothers, do you ever feel that you are not respected as much by women who work outside of the home because of your “domestic” art? Do you ever feel that you are looked at by “working” women as being too dependent?

Sorry for all of the questions, but while this song is not on par with my taste, it did inspire me to ask these questions...goes to show, everything has a purpose, no matter how much or how little we may like it. Share your thoughts Sisters!