ymib.com - Daily Inspiration

Regardless of what your hair

Regardless of what your hair looks like, there will always be someone who has some opinion about it. I'm from Jackson, TN and have lived in Memphis, TN so I do understand where you're coming from in terms of how closed-minded people can be concerning anything that deviates from their norm. I haven't had that many people to speak negatively or judgmentally about my natural hair during times in TN, but I believe a major key in that had to do with how I felt about my hair myself and the pride I took in my hair. When I felt like my hair was healthy and looked good, I was often complimented and asked who does my hair. I had friends who asked how can they transition to natural hair because they admired my hair. I know there are men who don't like natural hair, but for the most part I never had a problem meeting men because of my hair. In all honesty, it seems like I was approached by more men who admired that I and my hair weren't just the usual. A different type of man also started to approach me because of my hair because they linked it to a higher degree of consciousness and self-awareness. These points that I share are by no means absolute and they may or may not be your experience if you decide to go natural, but it all depends on your own views about natural hair and the associations you consciously, unconsciously, or subconsciously have about natural hair.

All in all, I wish you the best in transitioning whenever you do decide to do so. The experience is and has been beautiful for me...even through the rough times when I need a change and can't quite figure out what natural style to go with it's still great. It has been empowering for to do something that is not only more healthy for my hair but that is in accord with what I feel within.

Blessings,
Subira Lesedi

Follow the ways of the sun and sit at the feet of the ants.
~Lesedi

"What is well planted cannot be uprooted. What is well embraced cannot slip away. Your descendants will carry on the ancestral sacrifice for generations without end."
~Tao Te Chi

So many truths already spoken

This is why I love visiting this site. After reading everyone's comment, I don't have anything new to add but my own testimony. All of the concerns you revealed in your post were thoughts I had before transitioning. You simply have to dive into it, because if you over analyze as I do you will be wasting valuable time. The freedom is unbelievable.The maintanence is trying sometimes. Of course it depends on your texture. After being natural for only 6 months, I have finally gotten into a routine with the up keep of my hair. You may have moments of regret after a few months of ...ok, now what. But keep your eye on the end result. I'd suggest having a goal in mind, once natural where do you plan on going from there.

I think 32 is a beautiful age, can't wait to begin my 30's. And there is no time like the present to start living. If you thought about it, why not follow through with it. Like you said, it is YOUR hair. You can't wear your hair in a certain style to satisfy others. As far as men...I've been given more compliments and respect in a man's approach since becoming natural. It is a sense of empowerment for me! I think I may even walk differently! :) I look at the women in the 70's and how bad they were! It seems the bigger their fro, the more desirable they were. I believe the fact still remains!

I wish you the best in your journey because it is not easy. I'll stay tuned on your decision.

"I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within" - India.Arie

When You Are Truly Ready...You Will "Just Do It"....:)

Like most in the 70s...I wore my hair natural...I then transitioned back to the press 'n comb because actually due to the texture of my hair...it was so much work keeping it natural. Once I got the corporate job - with all of the traveling - I finally did the relaxer thing at 30 - travelling to different climates it was easier to keep my hair looking "decent"....but by the time I was hitting my late 30s...I longed for the day of NOT thinking about my hair and its state all the dang time...it seemed as if my hair occupied my mind more than any of my relationships...hahaha...finally I started slowly....I stopped perming my hair...then begin trimming it...then I went to braids/extensions to let it grow out...now at 53...I have not only remained natural...but I actually cut it off...at the barbershop...and I couldn't believe the compliments...and to add to it...I am going naturally gray as well...when it grows out this time...I'm locing it...:)

I said all of that to say....you are transitioning right now...so don't feel you have to do it all at once...take your time...ease into it....

I remember the first day I wore braids to work...I thought about it...briefly....even told my boss so he wouldn't have a heart attack...LOL....but man was it liberating....and as for men...some like it and some don't....but if we are being true to ourselves...we will radiate and the man who can see that is the man to be with...

Sorry for babbling....

Besides...you will save time and MONEY....

I'm 32 too

And I have had natural hair for almost 4 years now. The man I was with at the time, didn't mind the change and was supportive. He even shaped up my teeny fro with the clippers and everything. The man I am with now has never seen me with relaxed hair and loves my sisterlocs. I am the first woman he has dated with natural hair. He comes from a family of women with soft, long hair. The kind that really doesn't need the chemicals. He even dated an Asian-Indian girl for 4 years, and you know how their hair is lol. So hair really isn't what's important to him or for most men, I think. I think you should go for it and then watch out for the men that will be drawn to you because of your natural beauty.

Check out my blog post -

Check out my blog post - http://www.ymib.com/daily-inspiration/hair/blogs/hair-and-relationships.... where I discussed some of these issues.

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Your Advice to JulyAngel

First, let me thank JulyAngel for posting this, because I am thinking about transitioning to natural for the first time in my life and I am excited but I have the same hang ups that you do about them. So I really feel you on that.

I can really appreciate and use the advice that everyone is giving July Angel.

And on the subject of men...I've been married for 13 years and my husband used to tease me when I washed my hair and let it air dry. He would say...why don't you wear your hair like that...many more sistas should be natural. Ladies I swear he only said that at the time because he knew I would never do it--So he thought (and back then..i would have never had the courage to do it). But that was before I met a girlfriend at work who introduced me to a whole new school of thought regarding our history and where we come from as a people. I find myself full of hunger for knowledge about who we were(are) before slavery....long long before that...So anyway.. now when I say that I'm thinking about going natural, my husband doesn't comment. Because now with this new knowlege of self that I have...I think he is afraid of me actually doing the very thing that he teased me about years ago.

He has also teased me about this new "black power" trip that I'm on. LOL!! But what it really is...is I'm waking up from a very long sleep that sadly many of our people are afraid to awake to. We've been told lies about ourselves for years that we have believed for so long. We are a beautiful people and we need to realize it more than we do..we need to come from up under this spell and start learning the truth about who we are.

So JulyAngel..I shared all of that to say this. Always seek the TRUTH!!! At the end of the day....our natural hair is the TRUTH!!!

Realize the Goddess in YOU!

When you're ready....

NOTHING WILL HOLD YOU BACK! And you'll be happy and make the best of the transition even though it can be a little shaky. I've had every du over the past 20 years but I've been natural the longest about 18 years now. find some pictures that you love of natural hairstyles and one of these fine days you'll do it. No pressure.

Happy New You!

Yes Lioness...For The Lioness You Know, For The Empress You Love, For The Goddess You Are!

go for it ...

i've been natural for over ten years and absolutely love it. it's unspeakable freedom-- i have no fear of rain, fog, or humidity. sure, my family and some friends were critical in the beginning, but eventually they came around. in fact, many of them were inspired by my courage and decided to take the journey themselves. my husband and i have been together now for 10 years (married for a little over a year). he's only known me as a natural woman and he loves it. so rest assured mr. right will love the natural you!
congratulations on beginning your transition and best wishes.

~peace & blessings

everybody has a hair story- what's yours?
www.hairstories.net

It's about you

I decided to go natural when I was 18 (I'm 27 now). I chopped all my hair off (tried to grow out my relaxer, but got sick of that process) and never looked back. Did some close-minded people make comments or view me differently? Certainly. At first I was self conscious, but after awhile a real sense of self love and freedom took hold. For the first time, I didn't have to run from wind or rain, I could swim, dance, do whatever I felt like doing. And it never stopped me from meeting men, I've been with a beautiful man for 5 years. What I found is that the natural journey changed who I was, helped me to be more accepting of myself in more ways than just my appearance. One thing that helped with the transition and I definitely suggest you look into was an online group for women who have and/or are thinking of transitioning to natural hair. I found one on yahoo groups, and we had great discussions on many of the things you're questioning now (treatment in the workplace, men, etc. ) as well as tips on haircare and whatnot. Just take your time and figure out what's right for you.

MOST Black Men?

Realistically speaking, if most black men didn't like black women with natural hair, then how can we account for all of the natural sistas who are in relationships with black men? Girl, there are even online groups that are dedicated to natural women...and the black MEN that love them! So don't allow that falsehood to deter you from going natural--I'm sure you'd rather have someone attracted to you because of who you are, instead of what kind of hair you have...isn't that what really matters?

Another thing I noticed, is how you think others will think of you, and the descriptions you used. How do you know that your colleagues will think that natural hair is "militant" or "different"? Is that your perception of it? Will you not be the same person they have always known, just with natural hair? What's wrong with being different anyway? What makes natural black hair "militant"?

I hate to sound cliche, but the message in India.Arie's "I Am Not My Hair" song had it right. Sometimes, we think too much about our hair. Your words, actions, and deeds are more telling of who you are than your hair. I went natural twice. The first time, I was so concerned about what people thought about me (or at least, what I assumed people would think of me) that I relaxed it 2 months into it. But the second time, I had came to the conclusion that people are going to judge you by something, no matter what. People judged me when I was relaxed, so why should I stop myself from experiencing my God-given tresses, just because of what people may or may not say? Once I got it into my head that my natural hair is beautiful, and a testament to how the Most High made no mistakes when he created this mass of twisted, tightly coiled hair, I cared less and less about what people thought of my hair. "They" obviously had the problem if they were going to pass negative judgement on me because of my hair, without knowing me personally.

I have been natural for about 3 years now, and I'm loving it, and will never turn back. Men still approach me--no more or less than usual. My peers and colleagues find my hair interesting--some even went natural themselves because my hair inspired them.

So I'll end with this. As simple and obvious as this may seem, it is YOUR hair. If you are inclined to return to your roots (no pun intended), then by all means, embrace the journey of nappydom! As you said in your post, your straight hair doesn't reflect who you are or will ever be, and it takes way too much effort to try to be someone you are not. So stop trying, and just BE!

"I am a divine original, fashioned by Yah to be radiantly beautiful."

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