It's been such a long time since I have shared my thoughts with my beautiful sisters. I do visit the site quite often but rarely have had time to sit down and share. Since the last time I wrote, I was unemployed and at home cookin' and cleanin', trying to be the ultimate wife and step mommy. April 20, 2009, I got hired on the spot at a Social Service Agency in Queens. Its a looong commute from my side of Brooklyn but I shrugged it off and knew it was time. My sister-friend hooked it up and got me the interview. I am so grateful for her kindness and friendship. I literally blew them away and I felt so good. I was so happy, excited, and nervous at the same time. This was going to be my first real job after graduating Undergrad in Social Work. It just seemed like finally everything was falling into place as planned. Although it took a few months, I was finally on my way. "I kept my promise mom, see." However, a few weeks into a month I realized this is not the path I want to lead. I do find it rewarding to want to help out those in need. But, I don't feel like its how I want to help people. Other than the fact that the paper work is out of this world and the commute is exhausting I am sticking it through because I had months of being broke, I have to help with the bills in our household, and times are hard right now. Some financial constraints have come up and I can't quit on a whim like I did last time. For the past few weeks I have been contemplating on what I would want to do, what would make me happy? Nothing has really sparked me. I don't know how to braid hair, create jewelry, etc. I am sure it will come to me... In the meantime, I'll continue this path because I believe its the one I am supposed to lead anyway for now, because ultimately I will end up at my final destination. I find myself missing being home quite often while I am at work. Seriously, I would not mind being a house wife lol When I am there I get so bored. I feel like I need more friends. In actuality, I only have 2. That's because I am very choosey. I feel like I am now living an alternate life away from the humdrum of society like who cares if janet jackson broke up with jermaine, baby phat lovin, bamboo earrings, club hoppin, pass the spliff, hot 97 listening, jordan wearing chick. I rock my ankh, head wrap, long skirt, munchin on a veggie patty down flatbush ave and carefree. I guess I prefer to be around Women that share my ideas, values, etc. I haven't met much. I almost feel like a bunch of us on here on this site who live in NY should get together to build and create positive connections. I know thats one thing I need in my life. I am searching for so much, a rewarding career that I LOVE, genuine friends, and overall happiness.