Ok so after allowing the tears to flow today I realize that I'm depressed. Again. Well thats fun. The problem is that I don't really believe I'm depressed or at least don't want to. I thought I'd gotten over this...gotten better but apparently not. Of course it is that time of the month and I could be overly hormonal but I really feel that my physical state allowed my emotions to come forth. I've been avoiding a conclusion like this for some time now. I recently spoke with a friend who had a breakdown similar to the one I experienced several years ago. It took so much work to go from not wanting to get out of bed or not being able to function because action produced tears to getting up willfully every day to face life. I have no desire to start that work over again, but if this is where I am then I have no choice. And the fact that I am back at this place again further depresses me. A source of pride for me was my resiliency. Once I fell into a hole you could bet I would take a different route next time, but somehow, someway I've fallen into a maze. Is this normal in your mid-twenties or is it just me? The people I have unconditional love for seem to be offended by my mental state at times, and they don't realize that their reaction only makes it worse. In one short year, everything that I worked for is gone. No plan works. Its like quicksand and my struggle to get out only sucks me in deeper.