Lately it seems like every time I turn on the television there's more bad news. Stimulus plan held up by endless red tape, people getting laid off, people murdering their entire families because they've been laid off (!!!) And it's in this climate that I'm supposed to go out, slap a smile on my face and search for a job. It's a daunting task. I knew I had a choice: I could either allow myself to sink into that collective sense of dread, desperation, and depression, or I could count my blessings and continue forward on my journey with light in my heart. I chose the light.
I looked around one day and realized that at this point, one thing I've got an abundance of is time. I decided that rather than being down in the dumps about a job, I would apply all that time and energy into doing what I love. I pulled my big wooden easel out of the closet and set to work completing last summer's goddess (I've started a tradition of creating a big goddess painting every summer, beginning with the one that's pictured in my profile banner), a composition I'd been wrestling with for months. Now she's nearly finished!
I also started working with fabric, something I've been wanting to do for ages but never got around to doing. I dug out all the old fabric I'd been saving for years and began stitching a colorful wall hanging out of pairs of my old bellbottoms! Getting back to sewing feels amazing, I forgot what a soothing and meditative act it can be.
The other thing I'm so excited about that I've been putting off for ages is I finally started my own arts and culture blog. I attend lots of events, talk to people, and take pictures, and my friends have always said to me, "you should write about that!" And I always wanted to, but I never did. Now I've begun with my blog called Black Butterfly, (http://www.soulgoddess.blogspot.com) which will be featuring photos and reviews of arts and cultural events, artist interviews and videos, and a good dose of my own work as well. There are so many amazing things going on in the arts right now, it's fun to document and share. I'm very excited because this weekend Ntozake Shange's choreopoem "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf" opens for a special engagement in Oakland, and I'll be going opening night to do a review!
Even though times are tough right now, I'm happy because I'm doing things I've always wanted to do. I made my own work and my own dreams a priority. Now that I've discovered how good it feels to really focus on what the Creator has called me to do, I'm not ever going back to being that person who put aside her own calling to make money, search for the "perfect" job focus everything into the "safe" option. The money will come. I think one lesson this crazy economic situation has taught us is that there is no "safe" option. Everything has a risk and a price. We might as well do what we love. Until I find another job, I'll happily cultivate my own garden.