It has been kind of a crazy week. To make a long story short, my friends happened upon this blog and were none to happy about what was written (I suppose that will teach me to use aliases when I write!). This is a forum where I express myself very deeply and honestly, and I'm determined to keep that up no matter whose eyes are upon my words or how folks react. I suppose that's the artist in me. I'm in the process of letting go of some old wounds and relationships that no longer serve me, and that can be a wrenching process. At the same time, I feel blessed to be surrounded by an amazing and supportive group of people who love me for who I am. So while I am sad by what has transpired, I feel like I have angels lifting me up, reminding me of all that is good in life.
I'm happy to say that I was accepted into the Americorps program, and I can't wait to start working with the nonprofit. I'm excited for a fresh start in a new direction. I've been floating through retail jobs that did not satisfy me for so long, and I realized what I really enjoy doing is helping people. Months ago, when I looked at my life and what I wanted to do in the next few years, two things came up: I wanted to do more meaningful work, and I wanted my MFA degree.
So at the end of next month, I'll begin my training. I'm happy to be returning to Brooklyn with a fresh perspective of things, and a stronger goal and vision. I also made a list of several arts organizations I want to volunteer with. It won't be easy, and I have a lot of work to do, but it's good work.
I also feel very blessed because Codi is very open to the idea of moving now. It's been a tough year, and he says he's ready to have a fresh start in a different setting. We're taking everything slow, but the commitment is there, and that has made all the difference. We stopped questioning whether we were supposed to be together, and just decided we'll be together no matter what. We've been sharing many bright visions of our future, and it's getting us both through some rough circumstances. We're gonna be alright.
So at the end of the day, I feel like I'm too blessed to be stressed. A lot of stuff has been thrown at me lately, and when I feel it dragging me down I just pray and count my blessings. For all the messed up stuff going around, there is still so much sweetness :)