As i sit and type this i wonder how much longer am i gonna to do this? I wonder how much longer am i going to sit back and play the fool for him? And i can say i don't know. i have been in this for seven years and it has been five years married. The last few years has given me High blood pressure, an enlarged heart and panic attacks so bad I am on meds that sometime don't help. I have lost my way and my self in this. i want to cry more then smile at times. I never thought it would be like this I know about the other women and sometimes i think it is other women. My heart hurts and i don't know what to do. I am tired of looking Thur phones and getting upset when the phone rings because i know who it could be. I just want to have peace. Can't i have that?

I don't know how many of you live in NYC but we have a problem here. The problem of police shooting our brothers down.There was a case of the police shooting a young man on his wedding day his name was Sean Bell. There was a trial and the police in this case were found not guilty. This has happen before with others but I don't understand how they are getting away with this. In most of the cases the police have unloaded their guns and reloaded and it is found that this is not a problem. Maybe I am a little slow or maybe even a little behind on the law but for 50 shots to let off on a person and the people who are with him is over the top. At the end of the trail only one officer said sorry to the family, One of the officer's was smiling like a life was not lost. There is a young women going on with out her soul mate and two baby girls with out a father there is nothing to smile about a life is lost. There is a mother and father with out there son.

I am glad i have found ymib all the sister's here have inspired me and given me hope. There is so much ugly in the world that is nice to find a place where you can be uplifted by women who have such strong spirit and so much love in their hearts. i wish you peace in what ever path you choose and love in your everyday struggle.

I am a first time mother and at times i wonder am i doing everything correct. Everyday there is something new i am learning and i wonder am i on the correct path? I don't have my mother around( i was adopted she has gone on to a better place) to guide me and i feel as though at times i am going the wrong way. I look at my son and say Thank you for choosing me i may mess up at times but i will get it wright one day till then work with mama till then. If anyone out there has any advice on being a mother i will Gladly accept. I will let you all Know how we are doing.

YeYo29