Today I'm feeling so rough...so dejected... so wrong...so clueless
I've shed tears several times this morning because I'm so scared I'm making a huge mistake. Next Thursday, I'm moving out of an apartment I share with a man I married just last year. I have told him he can't move with me. I have told him this because he has done some reprehensible things (drugs, stealing from me etc) and I DON'T Trust him at all. But, he has been pulling at my heart strings and even though I feel moving out and moving on is the only thing to do... I'm still deathly afraid I'm making a HUGE Mistake... I fear that I'll send him spiraling down a path worse than he is on currently.
I also fear that this move will end up being a living nightmare...due to loud, rude, or inconsiderate neighbors. I'm also not looking forward to packing up everything this weekend... I'm just feeling low... real low today... my mind is racing and I feel so completely alone... I wonder if there is any hope... I wonder if I'll ever be happy...anyway, today is just one of those rough days... and I have to believe it will get better... It has to............. right?

Sorry for the depressing blog...
Queen Nef

Honestly and Openly Sharing....

I just realized something about myself; as in an epiphany!

I find it extremely difficult to be honest about my experiences (many of them good, but more of them not so good).

I have experienced a lot; I say this knowing full well that many have experience things 200% worse than anything I have experienced. But the way I have handled my experiences in the past were to find blame primarily with myself; internalizing the pain and hurt, and never talking about it. After enough time had passed I would eventually send the pain faraway, deep down into the far reaches of my subconscious where it would to continue to affect me. But eventually my conscious mind wouldn't remember the details and I would say that I don't know why I feel what I feel yet I know I feel sad, angry, and discontent all the time.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Dear Black Americans:

After all of these years and all we have been through together, we think it’s appropriate for us to show our gratitude for all you have done for us. We have chastised you, criticized you, punished you, and in some cases even apologized to you, but we have never formally nor publicly thanked you for your never-ending allegiance and support to our cause.

This is our open letter of thanks.

We will always be in your debt for your labor. You built this country and were responsible for the great wealth we still enjoy today. Upon your black backs, laden with the stripes we sometimes had to apply for disciplinary reasons, you carried our nation.

We thank you for your diligence and your tenacity. Even when we refused to allow you to even walk in our shadows, you followed close behind believing that someday we would accept you and treat you like men and women.

Hi,
I wanted to draw your attention to this important petition that I recently signed: "Guinness World Records Mislabels Move Organization Murders as Mass Suicide

"http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/OnaMove?e

I really think this is an important cause, and I'd like to encourage you to add your signature, too. It's free and takes less than a minute of your time. Thanks!

If you would like more information on the truth behind the MOVE organization please go to wither of the links below:

http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/45a/114.html
http://www.onamove.com/

Have a blessed day
and
take a moment to take action!

Queen Nefertiti

I was wondering if any of the sistah's of YMIB have heard that Afrikans were the first to have a truly democratic society? I have been reading this book called the Destruction of Black Civilization: Great issues of a race from 4500 BC to 2000 AD and in this book Chancellor Williams documents the history of Black outside of European history. So far, the book is riveting and it Chancellor who first told me of the true democratic (government for the people and by the people) nature of ancient Afrikans. I would suggest that everyone who is interested in uncovering old truths long hidden would find this a great read.

Anyway, I thought I'd share the 42 Laws of Maat. Maat is a Kemetic word which means Balance and Harmony. Maat was symbolized sometimes by weighing scales.The laws of Maat is believed to be a fore runner, 2000 years older than the christian/ Hebrew ten commandments. All Afrikan people lived by these rules. Maybe if we would live by these 42 principles we could begin to rekindle our true greatness. Enjoy.

42 Laws of Maat

I have not done iniquity.
I have not robbed with violence.
I have not stolen.
I have not made any to suffer pain.

****Good Morning to all my Phenomenal sistahs, I woke up this morning with the poem on my mind and I thought why not share it with all of you.. because we are ALL Phenomenal women. Peace and Blessings

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curls of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered what they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally,
Phenomenal woman,

I found this poem beautiful and all encompassing and I thought I would share it with all....

For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am the mother and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one
and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great,
and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom,
and it is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring.
I am the slave of him who prepared me.
I am the ruler of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.
And he is my offspring in due time and my power is from him. I am the staff of his power in his youth,
and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold