What do I do now
Do I wait in limbo
Until you decide
What to do with what use to be

with no warning, no explination, no resolve I sit and anticipate the phone to ring or the light to blink indicating the opportunity to communicate with you, to express my love, & sing your songs

My heart is crying and slowly dying for your lack of responsibility to properly inform me & console me. This can't be life, this can't be love

This is not what we shared, this is not what we promised, this is not where we should be. I can accept you trying to get rid of baggage but you put me on pause like my life is on playstation

I do believe in this love but now all I have are the word u said to me before and pain in my heart, the tears in my eyes & the silence you give me now.

Mmmmmmmmmmm I cry out softly…….. followed up with a deep sigh


a sigh of release, a sigh of sweet relief


quickly followed by a playful giggle


of pleasure, announcing my enjoyment


embraced by the strength of your hands


my once focused thoughts are arrested by


a feeling so strong I just can’t deny it


wait people are watching ! I wish we were alone!


we still have to walk through this store


its too late now I’ve already expressed


my enjoyment of the touch of your lips & caress of your tongue on my neck.

My thumbs hurt from typing on the qwerty keyboard of my blackberry, but I wait again for the red light to blink & yellow smiley face to appear on my screen! Indicating that I have yet another blackberry message from you! Ooh the light is blinking!!! Darn!! It wasn’t you it was someone else saying hello, hey girl what’s up.. So I reply and hope the next reply is from you.

You’re apart of the substance of the thing I hope for and the evidence of an institution of marriage I have only seen for others and not myself. So, I guess I’ll call you faith!

You’re the faith that tells me one day I will find the husband the thing that I so desire. You’re the faith that tells me that black men still love black women and black love is not dead. You’re the faith that tells me that love and not lust prevails, chivalry not disrespect is alive & well, and that marriage still means something to someone somewhere.

I'm in a class about the state of the union of the black woman and we have at task and I wanted to see what everyone else had to say too.

Ladies Name 5 things you think the black man should apologize to the black woman about!

In response to the killing of the Chicago teen Derrion Albert I posted something on my blog about the situation and our peoples current mind set. Please check it out!

www.NappturallSpeaking.blogspot.com

Hey Sistahs!!

Today I'm closing the contest at 11:59pm for the chance to win "The Knotty Truth" and a winner will be choosen will it be you??

Check out my blog for details!!

www.NappturallySpeaking.blogspot.com

To All Napturals & aspiring Napturals I'm giving away a New Book about Natural hair on my blog check it out http://bit.ly/7Uhz5

Hey Sistahs

I had the pleasure to meet a great author today by the name of Michelle George. She is the author of "The Knotty Truth" I've started reading the book and so far it's great! Check out my post about it on my blog!!

http://nappturallyspeaking.blogspot.com/2009/08/knotty-truth-part-2.html

Nappturally Yours,

MoZaic

Hey Ladies,

I found a lady by the name of Michelle George she's the author of a book called "The Knotty Truth". Michelle George is a resident of Columbus, Oh and a Natural hair care advocate. Her book "The Knotty Truth" is for people who are transitioning to a natural state. From her website the description of the book says it "explores the mental and physical journey of transitioning back to your nappy roots. How to do it successfully with the right products, the right styles and the right tools!"

Even though I'm not transitioning I will be purchasing the book this weekend and blogging about it afterwards. If you are in the metropolitan area of Columbus, OH Michelle George will be at 'The Raisin Rack" Natural Grocery Store 2545 Schrock Road Westerville, Ohio 43081 on Saturday August 8, 2009 at 11am. They have limited seating folks!! So RSVP by calling 614-882-5886

Be sure to check out her website at: http://www.theknottytruth.net/home.html

Nappturally Yours,

MoZaic

I know everyone is not Christian on this site and that what makes it such a wonderful place to be because I can be who I am without someone judging me and you can be who you are without me or someone else judging you.

I posted a link to an article on my blog written about my church doing a small tribute to Michael Jacksons Music influence. We took 3 songs changed some words around and turned them into gosepl and my Pastor preached a life changing sermon that dealt with our inner and hidden issues in life.

Take a look at the last 2 post and let me know what you think. There are no wrong answers it's your opinion.

NappturallySpeaking.blogspot.com

Hello Sistahs,

I write today because I'm getting ready for a new me, a new beginning. On August 10, 2009 I will be having the Lap Band surgery done. After years of battling my weight I've decided to take a big step towards becoming a healthier me. It's time to take care of MoZaic because I've been taking care of everybody else.

Please keep me in your prayers as I make this change in my life.

Nappturally Yours,

MoZaic

Unexpected expectations based on the high assumptions conjured up in my heart by the words spoken from your mouth that I believed developed in your heart.

Soon I'll make you my wife so that we can live a better life that includes you & me & we & us, all inclusive package deal, a never ending paradise.

Lets wait awhile until we do this, until I save this or until I do that. Only lead to just one more year you'll be here sooner than you think, Which turned into what about spring & then we'll do our thing.

Now I'm broken hearted by what we started. A close but not to close, I'm here & you're there long distance loving. We use to talk everyday & now it seems you don't want to look my way.

What happened to us? where is the love you said you give to me that would make us the we, that we said we would be. Now your vision is clouded by thoughts and actions you share only with your self, never telling me whats wrong or giving me the courtesy to make it right.

Hey ladies I was granted an interview with Gospel singer Lisa McClendon!!! let me tell you!! It was such a blessing to know that someone as busy as Lisa McClendon took the time to do and interview with me. I'm not even excited about her celebrity I'm excited about her ministry.

Check it out at http://nappturallyspeaking.blogspot.com

I found some very cute earrings to day at the flea market. I went there to get some oils and I always like to walk around to this one particular booth where this man sells jewelry handmade by his family in Africa. They are a diamond shaped white stone like or maybe mother of pearl. I asked him what it was and he said Ivory as in from the tooth of an Elephant.

I'm gonna have to get these checked to make sure, because I don't want any Innocent elephants to die on the account of me wearing cute earrings. Also, I don't want PETA starting a rally in front of my house lol!!

If the earrings are Ivory I got them for a great price at only $5.00. Check them out below!!

Living in the Unreality of Loves Reality

It was like heaven on earth when I first met him
In his eyes I saw the universe everything he was, everything he wasn’t
Everything he could be and everything that he wanted to be

I believed in him, his words rang in my hears like a never heard truth, his words caressed my eardrums like the soft touch of his hands only to make love to me mentally instead of physically.

It will always be like this, we will always be together are the words he said then he assured me by paying me with verbal checks from his lyrical checkbook, I will never leave you, I will never hurt you, are the checks he deposited.

For the first year and a half of payments cleared without problem, now we run into the second year and then the I will never hurt you checks returns “I stood you up”or “I can’t come this weekend”; I will never leave you checks comes back “I can’t do this anymore” All null and void but it’s ok I can pay the overdraft charges, not to damage done to my heart shaped pocketbook.

After reading this article on the Internet it confirms all the more why I hate medication. I suffer from migraines and in order for me to take some pain medication my head has to be on the point of exploding.

Suits Saying Pfizer Experimented on Nigerian Children Are Revived
By Joe StephensWashington Post Staff WriterSaturday, January 31, 2009;

A federal appeals court on Friday revived two lawsuits brought against Pfizer by Nigerian families who say the giant drug maker used their children in an illegal test of an experimental antibiotic.

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit in New York ruled that the suits, dismissed earlier by a lower-court judge who said they should have been brought in Nigeria, can now go forward in the U.S. courts. Lawyers said the ruling could set a precedent affecting other American companies accused of wrongdoing overseas.

Hey ladies!!!

Here is my update from the stylist I tried. She is a very sweet person and has a calm spirit. She washed, conditioned and cut my hair. All of the perm has been cut off except for a very little in the front. After the wash she blow dried my hair and flat iron it. At first I was a little sad because all my hair was gone but it slowly but surely grew on me. My hair was so straight people thought I had went back to a perm!! My only complaint is she's a little heavy handed and when she washes your hair she scrubs a little to hard but other than that I would definitely recommend her to people I know!!!

When I got home from Michigan my scalp started to flake from the harsh -16 degree weather I faced while I was in the Mitten State. So, I washed my hair and conditioned it

I washed my hair with Pantene Moisture Renewal Shampoo. My hair has been so dry and this has worked for me in the past so I used it today it cost about 4.99 at CVS stores.

Hey Ladies,

I was in Walmart sometime ago and I saw a lady rockin a bangin Twist out and I asked her who does he hair. She gave me the number to the stylist, but I misplaced the number. I'm glad I remembered where the salon was so I stopped in there one day and asked for her. Her name is Marlana and she works at a full service salon here in Columbus, Oh called Expressions. I'll be making an appointment with her for next week and I can't wait. This is so exciting to me because I have been searching and searching for a stylist that is not only affordable but cares about hair. So, hopefully my search is over and I'll keep you guys updated on how the appointment goes.

Be blessed and remember its a new year I hope you left all your bags outside the door to 2009

Always,
MoZaic

Well, it's 2009 and I made a vow not to take any old mess from 2008 into 2009. Well, it's a little harder than I thought. I love my family but they really know how to get on my last nerve!! I'm trying very hard to be the best daughter I can be but my mom and dad are pushing me to the edge. My mom is a nick picker about everything, she has the perfect way to do anything and guess what it's always her way. LOL!! I'm trying to deal with her pushy and demanding ways but it's hard when you don't want to hurt her feelings at the same time.

My dad is.... well he's just... No need to sugar coat!! he just gets on my nerves!!!!!! I've been trying to tackle some financial matters by paying off any debt and my dad is including himself in my debt. He feels like I owe him for everything!!! I try to ignore him and not get upset but then he pushes a button and I go off and then of course I'm just dead wrong. I mean is it me or is it just wrong to take a life insurance policy on your kid that you know is in a financial rut and say here pay for it!! When the kid never asked for the policy???

Hey Sistahs!!,

I'm sitting here with my boo while he watches football (sigh). So, I decided to blog a bit. Things have been ok just trying to find a job, dealing with my mom living with me and growing my hair. I've been trying to find someone who understands natural hair but when i do they are so expensive I would almost have to sell my soul, I didn't even pay that much when I had a perm!!! So, I settled with getting my hair braided but even that is a hassle. I let a Missionary from church braid my hair and she doesnt understand that you have to use a wide tooth comb (can you say OOOUUCCCHH!!!) People get offended when you try and tell them what does and doesn't work for your hair!!! I brought all of my products I use and she wanted to put grease in my hair and I wanted to scream. So I explained why I don't use Grease aka pore clogging solid gasoline baby oil and she just said well ok.... Well ladies I have to go back to pretending the football game is just as fun to watch as walls move

Love yall

People explain me in words, define me in perceptions, sort me by category & label me with titles.



But does your explanation, perception, category or label explain who I AM



Your looks and stares as I walk by tell me truths and tell me lies



But does it tell you whose I AM



Your attitude and lack of gratitude of my talents & gifts tell me what you think of my God given fortitude's



But does it show you who I AM



You heard I was this or heard I was that so your assumptions now assume a position in space that you assume is my life.



But does it tell you where I AM



The way I style my hair, the car that I drive, the clothes that I wear send you into a deep stare



But does it tell you what I HAVE



Everything you see is not what it is; everything you hear is not necessarily what it sounds like.



They say believe none of what you see and half of what you hear because what you see now is not what God sees for my tomorrow, what you heard today may not be the Headline tomorrow.

Transition: Passage from a state, stage or place to another: a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another


I’m in the process of transitioning from a Perm to Natural hair; a journey of an unfamiliar place for me. I never thought I would make it to point where I would say oh I’m not getting any more perms but Creamy White Crack and my aching scalp has forced me into my decision. While I’m excited and proud of my decision, some of my friends and family seem to think other wise. With change positive and negatives outcomes & reactions are sure to follow, but I have to stay focused on the true reasons I started to transition.