I just got finished submitting my final paper for my gender and society class. My paper's topic was on gender inequalities and stereotypes taught by parents, sometimes through religion. Within this topic I ended up discussing how expectations regarding achievement to sons and daughters are often communicated differently by parents. As a result of that I had over a page on my notion and thoughts why its done in the African American community, specifically that girls are pushed more than boys. I'd thought that I'd also share my thoughts here. So here they are:

For some reason for the past two weeks I've been in the realm of this topic. Last weekend a local Feminist Organization, that I'm involved in held The Vagina Monologues. I had never seen the production before. I'd always been interested in what it was about. I also wanted to show support to an organization that I was a part of. I'd ask my beau if he would accompany me during this production. I already knew he would oppose. Sure enough, he did. He told me that he didn't want to go see a bunch of male bashing and women talking about how their vaginas empower them for two hours. I informed him that I highly doubted there would be a bunch of male bashing. He disagreed based on his google research of what the Vagina Monologues are. We ended up having a very long discussion via text on what feminism is, what is was, and what it shouldn't be. By the way ,I often call myself a feminist, and I'm well aware of what most people think feminism is.

Another Hallmark holiday is on it's way, Valentines Day! I found myself clicking on an ad on MSN.com regarding Valentines Day gifts for him and her. I figured I could steal some ideas for my beau. Even though I came across some things that seemed like a good idea I began to think about how I'd much rather be creative. There are also a few things that I've had my eyes on at the mall but, I'd much rather receive something thoughtful that came straight from the heart.

Kwanzaa unlike Christmas is about giving gifts that you actually made and created yourself. I think Valentine's Day should be like that for a change. How about making your sweetie some homemade candy or fresh baked cookies instead of giving Hershey or Fannie Mae your funds? Who wouldn't love homemade desserts after a homemade meal? If it's something your love has been telling you they have a taste for and you haven't gotten around to making it yet, why not find the recipe and attempt to make it for V-Day! Even if it doesn't come out right I'm sure they'll love you for taking mental notes and actually remembering.

My favorite rapper couldn't have said it better, " I know I can be what I want to be, If I work hard at it, I'll be where I want to be." Last weekend was the photo-shoot for the cover and promotional ads for my magazine.After a hardworking 9 hours, the pictures turned out absolutely amazing! I was very nervous that whole weekend because I wanted everything to turn out perfect and in my eyes it did. On top of worrying about the photo-shoot, I moved to a new house, had an 8 page freelance assignment to do, and 2 final projects due for my classes. I accomplished all of these things by Monday. So yea, I had a little bit of superwoman syndrome.

"I like what I see when I'm looking at me and I'm walking pass the mirror", croons Mary J. Blige on her latest single "Just Fine". When I first heard this track for a quick second on the radio, I thought, "Oh Mary made a nice little track to dance to." When I ran across the actual video for this song on YouTube, and listened a little closer, I threw my right hand in the air, as to giving Mary J. Blige an imaginary high five. A few seconds later I had shed a few tears. My tears were of joy because I could sing this song and know for sure that I in fact love what I see when I walk pass the mirror.

At that moment, it came to mind when I didn't like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. It wasn't even really about the physical. I would get up in the morning knowing that I may turn a few heads. If I'd put on my skinny jeans that hugged the hips that my Grandma gave me just right, along with my camel colored boots that almost hit my knees, I'd for sure have a few idiots ask me for my number. So, I never had a problem with my looks. My issue was that when I looked in the mirror I saw a bruised, hurt, and sometimes confused girl, that could sometimes be a Bitch.

Written: Wednesday, Jan 2, 2008

If you've been reading my blogs lately you'll see that I was kind of on a music kick for a minute. Recently, I've been feeling the need to reunite with my first love, writing about music that is. During high school I'd often daydream about what my life would be like. I initially wanted to work for a record company. I didn't know what exactly I wanted to do at the record company but I just knew that I land an awesome internship at a label and eventually become a large female music executive. That is, until I felt like the music being released was really starting to suck and I didn't want to have any part of it. So I figured I'd be like Sidney, the character Sanna Lathan played in the movie Brown Sugar. I could do one of my favorite pastimes, listen to music and get paid for writing about it! I'm not actually getting paid for typing my rants and raves in my blog but I enjoy it so here's my blurb about the current state of music. If you want to pay me I promise I won't turn anything down but my collar.

Monday, Nov 19, 2007

I recently picked up the latest issue of Essence magazine with Sanaa Lathan, Nia Long, and Gabrielle Union gracing the cover. All three actresses are very beautiful and talented. Unfortunately, the interview began with Sanaa mentioning how she was so happy to have gotten a job this year as in its hard to find work. Nia then mentions that with being an actress there is no security. This discussion isn't unusual. A lot of African American actors and actresses claim to have trouble finding work and often complain that there isn't an equal and fair representation of African American actors and actresses on the screen.

Bigotry, Injustice, Oppression, Pollution, Poverty, Racism, Sexism,
War....Oh no! You can't tell me that Hip Hop has caused all of these
issues in America.

Even though Hip Hop has it's negatives you can't blame
the nation's issue's on one genre of music. That's just
ridiculous. Myself being a feminist,at one point I was sick
and tired of hearing songs degrading women and seeing videos
with half-nakedwomen all of the time. At the same time women
have a choice. Every human being does. You can choose to become
a run-way model or you can choose to become a video-vixen.
Just as you can choose which type of model you would like
to become you can choose tobecome an Optometrist or a Dentist.
It all depends on your interests, preferences, and taste. The bottom
line is as an adult we all have choices and free will. Who are we
to judge anyone on what their personal preference is as long as they
aren't hurting anyone?

I would say that most Hip Hop videos that are played on television
should be viewed by adults. There is another opportunity to make a choice.
You can choose to watch music videos or you can choose to change the channel

Monday, Nov 5, 2007

I remember back in the 90's when I was younger and one of my favorite songs would come on the radio. I would run and get a blank tape. I'd place the tape into my radio and hit record. Myself, being a lyrics and not just a beat girl, after the song was finished I'd rewind the tape over and over while jotting down every word that was said. I'd then play the tape over and over until I knew every single last word.

"I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too
So turn off the lights and close the doors
But (but what) we don't love them hoes, yeah!
So we gonna smoke a ounce to this
Gs up, hoes down, while you motherfuckers bounce to this"