Ok I am back and lets see if I go on a tangent lol. Well yesterday I ran into my past again and let me tell u I must say I was happy to see they were alive and well and looking beautiful as ever. I must say that they were not happy to see me and one made sure they expressed it in their own little way. But its cool I am ok with that for now. I was there for my son and handling business. I can say that one of them spoke to my son (I love her!!!!) which I thought was nice and the other glared at me (man I have grown so much) my son saw it, but I turned the other cheek and maintained my being.

I finally did it!! I moved and we r still not quite done, we do have our necessary stuff beds, kitchen items, bathroom items ya no etc etc. Its very peaceful and quite unless me and the children are acting crazy or the music is blasting lol. I can be free to be me in this house, I can be free to continue my journey for the self and make important changes that will covet me for the rest of my time here. Its a 5 bedroom bungalow and we have the upstairs. One room is our bedroom and the other is my creativity room, yoga, meditation, chill haha u name it room, with a half bathroom in the middle. Now downstairs is my step daughters bedroom, the full bathroom, door to the basement in that lil hallway. Through the kitchen there is my sons bedroom. In the living room there is another room that could've been made into a den but we gave it to the children and made it their TV room, library, play room to entertain their guest. We call that room the Chill Room. Its alot of room in this house and the sound proof is great because its an old house u don't even know if someone is home until u come out of one of the rooms and happen to run into one each other.

I TRULY LOVE IT HERE DESPITE EVERYTHING ELSE I REALLY LOVE IT. THIS SITE IS VERY GENIUNE, REAL, FRESH AND HONEST. A REAL CIRCLE OF FRIENDSHIP & ENEMIES LOLOL(JUST JOKIN LAUGH MAKIN U LAUGH) REAL LOVE AND INSPIRATION TRUTH (YES TRUTH DOES HURT BUT AS LONG AS I KNOW THAT THEN I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO FOR ME) BUT I FEEL SO ALIVE AND APART OF A SYSTEM OF GREAT AND DIVINE WOMEN. I HAVE TOLD SO MANY SISTAS ABOUT THIS SITE AND I FELT ALIVE, I HOPE THAT THEY JOIN. I LOVE READING THE POST FROM U ALL, EACH LIVE LESSON, EACH EXPERIENCE, EACH CRAFT MADE, EACH MISTAKE, EACH DESPERATE NEED FOR SOME GOOD ENERGY SENT THEIR WAY, EACH BABY BORN, EACH PEOM, EACH BRAKE DOWN, EACH REBOOT MAN YALL I AM BLESSED AND NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE I AM SO GRATEFUL TO FINALLY HAVE A SITE WHERE I CAN SHARE ME WITH U. NO MATTER WHAT THE MOST HIGH HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME AND BEING HERE HAS CONFIRMED MY GROWTH AND CONFIRMED THAT THERE STILL IS SO MUCH MORE TO DO. BEING HERE KEPT ME FROM HAVING THOSE MOMENTS WHEN U FEEL ALONE. THANK U SISTAS FOR UR REALISM AND UR SHARING OF UR SELF. WE SHOULD THANK OURSLEVES FOR PUTTING UP WITH OURSELVES LOL.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOOO CUTE I HAD TO SHARE IT THIS CAME FROM ANOTHER LADIES POST FROM AN OLD SITE I WAS ON. CHECK IT THIS IS A CONVERSATION SHE AND HER DAUGHTER HAD. SHE SAID:

I WAS OUT WALKING WITH MY 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. SHE PICKED UP SOMETHING
OFF THE GROUND AND STARTED TO PUT IT IN HER MOUTH. I TOOK THE ITEM AWAY FROM
HER AND I ASKED HER NOT TO DO THAT.

"WHY?" MY DAUGHTER ASKED.

"BECAUSE IT'S BEEN ON THE GROUND, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN, IT'S DIRTY
AND PROBABLY HAS GERMS," I REPLIED.

AT THIS POINT, MY DAUGHTER LOOKED AT ME WITH TOTAL ADMIRATION AND ASKED,
"MOMMY, HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF? YOU ARE SO SMART." I WAS THINKING QUICKLY.

"ALL MOMS KNOW THIS STUFF. IT'S ON THE MOMMY TEST. YOU HAVE TO KNOW IT, OR THEY DON'T LET YOU BE A MOMMY."

WE WALKED ALONG IN SILENCE FOR 2 OR 3 MINUTES, BUT SHE WAS EVIDENTLY PONDERING THIS NEW INFORMATION. "OH...I GET IT!" SHE BEAMED, "SO IF YOU DON'T PASS THE TEST YOU HAVE TO BE THE DADDY."

"EXACTLY" I REPLIED BACK WITH A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE.

If only this were true and there was a mommy test! LOL

Ok i'm am sitting here again and this time i dont know if i made the right choice. ok here i go...... my weekend was very interesting I remember telling u that I let the relationship go but we are back together. I also rem. talking about the things i have learned from this relationship and others and my life is changing and so on and so forth . I have been putting the thought of leaving him for awhile out to the universe and Saturday the universe made it happen. I was upset with him cause he was going out with his cousin who drinks like a waterf all and is always interferring, very needy and jealous and looks for ways to get him away from me, wants him to be drunk all the time. I don't want that vibration in my home especially when it his cousins energy that was shared. He came home drunk and i rejected his pass and the next morning he was furious and told me to take some money and leave. This is when truth hurts because also told me what he was feeling and it very accurate, something in his eye and tone though made me change my approach with him and i got him to finally listen and talk.

YOU SIATAS KICKED IT OFF I FEEL LIKE I'M AT A POETRY SLAM LOL I THINK THAT IT WOULD GREAT TO ONE NIGHT JUST POST ALOT OF POETRY AND WE ALL SIT BACK AND WATCH AND ENJOY. THEN WE CAN COMMENT I WISH THERE WAS A CHAT ON HERE THAT;LL BE DOPE.

"AINT A CEILING"

"THE THICKNESS"

SISTAS CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO STILLETTOS FOR BABIES. TELL ME WAHT U THINK ABOUT IT

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=8360654
CHECK THIS VIDEO OUT. STILLETTOS FOR BABIES

AFRICAN AMERICAN STUDENTS ARE NOT APPLYING FOR SCHOLARSHIPS:

Even if you do not have a college-aged child at home, please share this with someone who does, and to anyone and
everyone that comes to mind. Though there are a number of companies and organizations that have donated money for scholarships to African Americans, a great deal of the money is being returned because of a lack of interest or awareness. No one is going to knock on our doors and ask if we can use a scholarship.

Take the initiative to get your children involved. Money shouldn't be returned to d onating companies because we fail to apply for it. Please pass this information on to family members, nieces, nephews, friends with children etc. We must get the word out that money is available. If you are a college student or getting ready to become one, you probably already know how useful additional money can be.

(If clicking on the link doesn't work, then type in the Web site address manually.)

1) BELL LABS FELLOWSHIPS FOR UNDER REPRESENTED
MINORITIES http://www.bell-labs.com/fellowships/CRFP/info.html
2) Student Inventors Scholarships

Subject: FW: An elder responds to statements about Michelle Obama and Jeremiah Wright
This is a good read; whether you support Obama or not. Enjoy!

Greetings All,
This is truly a profound and insightful message from a 78 year old African-American woman! Please read and pass it along. Subject: An elder responds to statements about Michelle Obama and Jeremiah Wright

To my friends and family, I rec'd this letter via one of the Obama grassroots groups and I think it should be circulated to answer some of the silliness that's going on about Michelle Obama's statements and Obama's connection with Jeremiah Wright. Pass it on! (or sit idly and watch it all happen and then complain about the outcome). ========================================================================
To The Editor:

As a 78 year old American of African descent, I feel compelled to respond to all this 'much ado about nothing' when it comes to the statement that Michelle Obama made about the fact that this is the first time in her adult life that she has been proud to be an American.

The country needs to hear this from the Black perspective.

I am siting here and i am in such a blank mood. I don't know what to think or say, i have cried tears of joy relief and pain, the big ball of energy in my chest is releasing, and I'm tired and drained. I am going through another change in my life. That deep insight, that what am I going to do now and what do I really want and who is going to be included in that. Who really wants to be included in it. The It is where it begins and the when and where and how is next. In that growth comes all the choices I have made up until this point and I ask myself is it really real, was alot of it worth it and will I make the same choices again. Living for me, doing whats right for me and being free to be me. I look at that statement and I think man is that selfish but damn its selfish of you if you stay somewhere that is unhealthty or not what u envisioned for yourself or makes you have to surpress apart of yourself to make someone else pleased with themselves. I look at that statement and I ask myself what makes me happy. I can go down the list and then check off which ones i am actually doing. The ones that I am not doing am I whole without doing those.

PEACE SISTAS IF U LIVE IN THE CHICAGO AREA, NO MATTER IF ITS THE SOUTHSIDE, NORTHSIDE, EASTSIDE, WESTSIDE COME CHECK THIS PLACE OUT. GOOD VIBRATIONS

CLASSES AT SACRED FLOW TEMPLE IN CHICAGO

THE SACRED FLOW TEMPLE TEACHES CLASSES IN THE HEALING ARTS OF KUNG FU, TAI CHI, MEDITATION, AND KEMETIC YOGA. CLASSES ARE ONGOING AND OPEN TO ALL WAYS OF LIFE, RELIGIONS OR IF U JUST NEED A PLACE TO REST THE STRESS ITS ALL GOOD.

SCHEDULE OF CLASSES:

kemetic yoga (various yoga practices)--- childrens class:
Saturday 10:00am---11:00am
Adult class: Sunday 12:00pm---1:15pm
INSTRUCTOR: ADUNNI
DONATION:$10.00

meditation-----Sunday 1:30pm--3:00pm
INSTRUCTOR:SIFU BRAHMA MANI ANADI
NO DONATION REQUIRED

kung fu---- childrens class: Saturday 1:30pm--3:00pm
adult class: Saturday 4:30pm--6:00pm
INSTRUCTOR: SIFU BRAHMA MANI ANADI
DONATION: $8.00 FOR CHILDREN
$10.00 FOR ADULTS

tai chi---- Tuesday, Thursday 6:30pm--7:30pm
Thursday 11:00am--12:00pm
INSTRUCTOR:SIFU BRAHMA MANI ANADI
DONATION:$8.00 CHILDREN
$10.00 ADULTS

***PRIVATE INSTRUCTION AVAILABLE PLEASE CALL 773)324-2812 OR FOR MORE INFORMATION***

Copyright 2007

The struggle of an out of the box independent soldier allowin no one to control her fights tooth and nail to expel the influence of a union that exceeds on the scale of zero and wants to be my hero nigga and niggarette please I cease to imagination your state of being is not truly seen even under the lens of a telescope fuck u mean yo shit is dope. smoke blowin out sha ass living fast and digging ur self deeper, u avoid the silence of ur creeper humbleness being the abomination to ur ego side. always with a set of rules that we must abide so u can be the rebellious one but see I peep yo shit I peep the dagger u keep in yo back pocket, I peep the book of lies u keep in the closet. the loose wire hanger u keep near the socket.

THESE SISTAS ARE AMAZING TOGETHER BALANCED, VIBING RHYTHM. SHAKIN THE EARTH FIRE IS BURNING, THE HOUSE IS BURNING. THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL TO US THAT WE REALLY NEED TO COME TO ONE ANOTHER WITH THE REAL IF IT IS THEN IT SHALL BE IF NOT THEN AT LEAST LET IT BE ON ONE ACCORD WITH TRUTH AND POWER. PEACE LOVE AND LIGHT

I WROTE THIS LETTER TO A REALLY BEAUTIFUL SISTA FRIEND OF MINE. WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR 10 YEARS. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND HER SOUL CONTINUES TO STAY AROUND. WE HAVE THE MOST AMAZING CHILDREN. THIS LETTER WAS ONE OF MY MANY REFLECTIVE MOMENTS. I HAVE MANY AVENUES FOR MY CREATIVITY WRITING AS U CAN TELL IS ONE OF THEM. SORRY IF THERE ANY FRAGMENTS OR MISSPELLED WORDS I JUST WRITE FROM THE HEART AND SOMETIMES I DON'T THINK ABOUT SPELL CHECK LOLOLOL PEACE

I've been going through alot of things lately
within myself and with my family. There has been
alot things surfacing and things being revealed to
me for either my acceptance or my self denial. U know how I am when i am
growing and changing and moving forward.
eliminating and cleaning house, that the universe
will move everything out our space to see the real
value in ourselves and then those that need to be
in our life will return. I am seeking as i no u r
and in that we do question our friendship with
people we reflect on decisions we've made up until
this point and there may be some things we may come
to regret, but when we have one of those ahhhh moments

What is guilt the pit of your stomach the ball of energy thats created when we make a mistake. Learned behavior that is not apart of the plan and not knowin how the universe will play out in out lives. We put so much energy on being perfect, strong,validated, someone else we isolate what we r here to learn about.... thats ourselves.

I have done things in my life that have brought upon the feelings of guilt and i've had people who tried to make me feel guilty. I also realize that situations do happen and you just work to find the solution to your problem. I also know that i don't have to connect to that which i feel and create the event before it even has a chance to unfold before me and present itself.

Guilt to me is a man made word to control and cause fear in the masses. There's no growth or reflection period or healin with guilt. Confess your sins and you will be forgiven for what you might do again and again until you look at yourself and realize that u r the solution to what u see is the problem.